the anesthesia cannot last
even rationed
it diminishes
and in it
I'm diminished
I retreat back behind
a transparent facade
hiding ludicrously
in plain view
but still unfound
unlooked for
unwanted
trying to build
with fumbling hands
my own indifference
to match
your structure
of enviable apathy
which towers above
blocks out the sun
and affronts
my front
of insouciance
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