whirligig

spinning on a beach
under starlit sky
arms akimbo
pirouetting with gusto
the whiligig world
kaleidoscopic flies by
before we fall
into the soft dunes
into each others arms
where together we lie
until the creeping sun
tells us it is time to rise

abdicate

and thus it is
I abdicate my sense
when from his fingers
gentle text arrives
and in the smiling face
of an emoji
my icy resolve thaws
and yet again I find
myself in realms I swore
I would no more visit
on a well trodden path
whereon my feet
may guide themselves
towards one who considers
my affection but a trifle
and yet
and yet
and yet again
I ask myself
is false hope
better than
despair

skosh

rain patters
on eaves
the tap dancing
of a thousand
skittering leaves
in the wind
and you pull me
just a skosh closer
until I melt
into your skin
don't know where
you end
and I begin
and this is
morning bliss

unabashed

and in my joy

unabashed I triumph 

that in the whole world 

you see the me

I always hoped

you'd see

and revel in the oddness 

that others found 

obtrusive but you

you found elusive 

and tracked me 

to find the wholeness 

at the heart 

of who I try to be

concatenate

memory crocheted
each action concatenate
in ghostly chains
strung together
to form the shapes
that keep us warm
unless we pull too much
on the thread

torpedo

unexploded ordinance
torpedo in the kiddie pool
Little Boy in the sandbox
the words we should say
but never do
the quiet menace
that may destroy
or may just be
part of the scenery
a memory of a volatile age
that's lost the power to wound
but which
we'll never know
until we kick it
to see if it still goes boom

inanition

the world outside
is painted in grey
in smoke and rain
matching the inanition
of a city exhausted
by a spring that can't
decide if it will
leap toward summer
or melt back into the frost
it dithers and drags us
unwilling denizens
into its doldrums 

malleable

could I draw the pain from my back
roll it into a ball and throw it
far away to leave my muscles malleable again
and from this ache with no release find respite

nudnik

like a pesky and precocious child
sometime, a nudnik hovering
impatiently hoping for the elusive
an answer to the neverending whys
met only with exhausted sighs
and the reason for asking
not the learning of
the wheres and hows and whos
but the better understanding of you

acerbic

sour of tongue
like wine
left in the sun
acerbic wit
disorient with
sharp pang
and yet
we drink it still

philately

collecting memory
as though philately
this first kiss
that delight
that mistake
one drunken night
the errors once
that much I rued
make rare those gems
that I've accrued
their value grown
through time and space
each treasured square
stuck in place

baroque

take little hurts
and nurture them
grow them from seed
to mighty oak
and cut and season
sculpt them into
fantastical shapes
baroque forms
in antique face
tears hardened
the pendulum makes
to mark eternity
after we are gone

rebus

even with all the clues laid out before me
like a crime board on a cable cop show
like a conspiracy theorist's newsprint wallpaper
like Keyser Söze spinning his stories
even so, I am the rube lost in the rebus
repetitively readjusting the rubik's cube
of what I know and what I thought I knew
but never closer to solving the mystery of you

luscious

voice like honeyed whiskey
sipped slowly by fire light
in the chill of an autumn wind
he sang and sang again
to the inner heart of one
too sad for one so young
and in his luscious trill
raw and hungry
yet smooth still
I and others found
solidarity and solace
and death's uncaring scythe
can never take that from us

castigate

would that i could
castigate such as he
i would not draw and quarter
but would draw upon my better angels
though vilest punishment he may deserve
what would it serve to lower myself
to the level of such as he
but that he has no shame
i would humiliate publicly
but even that he would devour
instead the fiercest penalty
to make him pay
would be obsolescence
and decay far from the eyes
of the madding crowd
silence his final shroud
oh would that i could
to suffer him no more
would that we could
return to before

hoodlum

no more relegated to the corner
no more ruling just the block
no more can we hide
from the hoodlums
with their hands
in all the pies
the corporate raiders
the political crusaders
the snake oil salesmen
who brag and boast
and promise the world
selling nothing but lies

peregrinate

a perfect summer day
a trail to traverse
and as we peregrinated
from place to place
our conversation
singing with the birds
our peace of a piece
with the deer
alighting stealthily
from the undergrowth
to join us here
upon on the path
through gullies and glens;
we ceased to be friends,
became something more
as we discovered each other
'twixt forest and shore

indurate

hardened by life's trial
into indurate rock
made from coal
to diamond
compressed by time
and heat from
something that burns
to something that shines
for those willing
to mine and polish
the wonders in her heart

microcosm

we spin around 

like atoms quivering

electrons jumping

in orbits unknown

solar systems 

in microcosm

quarks and leptons

leaping in macrocosm

dancing a quadrille

to metronomes that

mark a time that none

but we can hear

grok

known but not
as when things fail and you tell yourself
that sometimes things just fail
and it's not not not your fault
and you know it's true but do not grok
you hear the words as idle talk
and take them but not take them in
blame yourself as though you've sinned
sometimes time and distance required are
to teach us what we already knew
sometimes there is nothing you can do
things are through when they are through

supposititious

are we wrong
to be suspicious
of the supposititious
as cuckoo birds
fly overhead
and our nest
which once nestled
a clutch of eggs
is empty now
but for one
gaping maw
that screams
for our attention
that hopes we neither
see nor mention
the shattered shells
and broken yolks
that litter
the ground below
so taken in
by the needy show

erstwhile

days that erstwhile were carefree
now burden laden by worry and woe
we know not what the future brings
as the world we knew brought low
and in the hollow hours between
the dusk and dawn we wait and hear
the marching boots the rolling tanks
the snicker click of closing doors
the whispers in the hallways
the screeches of the whores
selling souls empty and worthless
as naked in their greed they cover
their private lies in the threadbare
blanket of power and false security
and this sad symphony scores
our restless search for respite
some block their ears and sleep sound
as they dream a peace unfounded
until the knock knock knock
finally lands on their own door
and suddenly they can sleep no more

lanuginous

wrong to covet
i know
pain comes from desire

but i see them and i long

those sweet milk-fed smiles
under lanuginous domes
tiny fingers grasping
dimpled cheeks
and feathery lashes
wide eyes voraciously
consuming the world

and i want

it may not
have been my fate
or it may
still yet become
my chances not all done

but as i hope and wait
my empty womb aches
and, just a little,
my heart breaks

panacea

one night
when in his cups
he did admit
he wished for one
to fix him
and I knew
I wasn't it
for I
could not see
that he
was broken
to me
near perfect
he seemed
and I
no panacea
not sure how
to mend myself
duct taped together
as I am

tetchy

when I feel dismissed
or value lessened
and know not why
when naysayed
and waylaid
you may find
my words curt
and mood tetchy
for little knives
still cut me
and small wounds
may fester and itch
as you cover them
in salt and citrus
and make of me
a margarita
instead of making me
a margarita

demean

all the books
of etiquette
ne'er once
apprised me
how to
demean myself
most properly
in presence
of the one
I seek most
to please
instead obsequious
I falter and fumble
like clumsy foal
new fallen
and hope
I find my feet
with grace

acronym

dumbfound by doublespeak
obfuscate by acronym
bewilder by blather
don't tell them what they want to hear
but tell them that you'll tell them tomorrow
hint and wink and nod like an old
vaudevillian instead of what you are
just a villain hiding in plain sight
and conning as though it is your right
so wrong and wronging those
gullible and wise alike

visceral

heartbreak is of the mind, true
but visceral too
had you kicked me in the chest
the pain not more severe
cracked sternum and broken rib
would have sooner healed
than the beating
my poor bruised heart took
from one deadly look
as all my loving you forsook

refurbish

spring cleaning time
time to gussy up my soul
paint and polish
refurbish all
my furnishings
and burnish all my brass
scrub my floors
dust and buff and tidy
till I shine
like freshly washed glass
windows on a bright
and sunny morn
reveling in the day
preparing gainst
the coming summer storms

majordomo

she knows each pillow misplaced
you wander through her space
and think it yours because you pay
but she is there all the livelong day
she watches and guards and tidies up
the bits and bobs and pieces
hides away a hair tie under a couch
stalking the hall with propitiatory slouch
she is the majordomo of your domain
and only that you feed her
she lets you remain

fey

off with the fairies as ever
she wanders the world
in constant wonder
and they call her
doolally and fey
but she is happy
not they
she is free and wild
unburdened and unbound
and they with feet planted
firmly in the ground
deride her
because they cannot float
beside her
head in the clouds
different and proud