chivalry

to prove oneself independent
and resistant to a code
held by those who
would make of you
a damsel in distress
and not wanting to regress
after such hard won progress
but also not wanting to be rude
or have intentions misconstrued

and he wanting to be polite
to honor and delight
and also do what's right
without the implication
that you can't
fight your own fight

a delicate balance
the tightrope strung
twixt patriarchy and chivalry
but not so hard to walk
if one extends to all
the same courtesy

redolent

you can't lose
what you never had
that's what they say
but do we ever really
have anything anyway
it's all a mirage
a messy collage
of maybes and memories
of summer nights
redolent with magnolia and
missed opportunities
and the vacant side
of a bed where rested
once a different head
and if you think you've
found an oasis
is it a crisis if you're wrong
when the water turns to sand
if we were never more
than walking dust all along

anathema

a quaver in the gut

as dread sprouts 

anathema to the sense

of self and you wonder why

the thing you want

so near and yet untouched 

before you screw up 

courage to do the thing 

you know is right but hard 

querulous

well, you ostracize your friends
and then you say you're lonely
I wonder how that works
you pick every little fight
and then you claim it's only
one of your charming quirks

and you're angry
and you're querulous
and the world seems
so perilous
but you asked for this

mollycoddle

from outside
we watch the show
the petulant
and pompous
performance
pouting
or perturbed
and pounding his chest
repeating his line
"the best, the best, the best"
and the rest
flutter about him
like birds to the nest
they mollycoddle
and mollify
his ego
and supply
a bounty of bootlicking
in hopes that by so doing
they'll avoid a kicking

slew

there are choices
that every day will bring
and there will always be
a slew of reasons not to do a thing
but at the end of all your days
when you Monday morning quarterback
all your prior plays
will you regret the things
at which you failed
or the things you never tried
the ones which led you to learn
to persevere or to prevail
or will you be satisfied
never really knowing
what you could achieve
if heart and mind applied

loath

divorce papers
a false spring
to rouse him
from hibernating
but he is loath
to leave his den
the comfort of
his slow rhythm
the safety found
from all his fears
rejection by
women & peers
so covers back
above his head
tomorrow he
will try again
but until then
bed

cathexis

oh the years lost to time
i could weep for the waste
so long and so oft stuck
in the quicksand cathexis
over this one or that
who liked me a little
but never loved me back
had i the chance
my younger self to advise
i would warn her not to love
too much or too fast
for that way madness lies

traduce

spun of cobweb
with tensile strength
and wonder sung
bedecked in dew
the tears of one
trust traduced
gossamer sprung
by lethal wind
and lies undone
so careful web
of kindness now
unstrung to wave
from branch
storm flung

grudging

in courtly kindness he rises

this broken man

face etched with

a map of the mountains 

rising from the desert

through which he trudged

to be here on this subway car

so in grudging gratitude 

she takes the vacated seat 

recognizing the gift

unasked and unwanted 

but not wanting to bruise 

the stolid pride of him

bloviate

look at the puffed up popinjay
the more and more that he will say
so grows and grows your dismay
as he proceeds to bloviate
that he's the greatest, greatest, oh, so great
and in your head sound the alarms
that if someone must explain their charms...

so darling, take hard won advice
you'll get fooled once, but never twice
just run real fast and far away
and you will thank me someday

headlong

indiscriminately impetuous
diving headlong to licentiousness
she takes to freedom like a fish
to bicycling or so it seems
to those who cling to an ethos
long past its sell by date
and they rate the folly of the young
with a mixture of envy and derision
but we all have delicious delusions
on which we feast and improbable hopes
that rise like yeast regardless of our age
humanity is preposterous and in our
hypocrisy and absurdity is found
both the worst and the best of us

embarrass

my body knows
before I do
before my mind
has thought it through
my cheeks and chest
flush red
blood rushing, racing
to my head
my skin aflame
my lumpen throat
I cannot help
but to emote
embarrassed by
embarrassment
on occasions
far too frequent

onomatopoeia

words
crash and crumble
turn and tumble
at a crisp crunch
or melt like cotton candy
on the tongue
sibilance like sugar spun
linger languidly in language
feel it drip from your lips
like sucking honey off fingertips
drown in onomatopoeia
lost in sound as savory sweet
and satisfying as a kiss
the poetry of life
is all there is

vulnerable

like Achilles
we, all of us,
have our heel
and still are
sandal shoon

like Samson
in our sleep
we may be shorn
and come the morn
our strength disadorn

no armor for
hearts or parts
so vulnerable
we can never be
invincible
whilst trapped
in flesh corporeal

founder

navigate the bay
of first meetings
and find a way to sea
through shoals
of understanding
to sail together
but still sometimes
friendships founder
on reefs unseen
beneath the waves
that catch tear
the keel asunder
or storms that make
rogue waves
to crash and thunder
and we drown
in wonder of
what we said or did
that sent us under

succinct

my style
generally
not succinct
i tend
to be verbose
but for once
i need
but three
small words
i'd say them
but
you know

aegis

back porch
warped boards
undulate as if to sprout
and skyward grow again
reek of rot & regeneration 
the wicker chair
gives way just a bit
and sways as you sit 
and you stretch away
from the ashtray grime
concreted to the table beside 
by rain that fell and dried
and fell and dried again
unprotected by the aegis
of the trees umbrella
dappled by shadows
of Spanish oak
in the muggy sun
you sweat and soak

newfangled

we think that we can have control
we know mostly how we use it
and not having takes a toll
so why on earth would one refuse it

these portals carried in the hand
we cannot truly understand
that signal to a satellite
with updates almost every night

we chase the novel, need to have
every newfangled doodad
it matters not what we give up
we throw out all we once had

defer

tomorrow,
we say...
tomorrow
is another day...
and tomorrow
we will do the thing
that we deferred
today...
...
...
...
that's the plan, anyway

kitsch

take my searching soul
dress it up and decorate
with whimsical kitsch
add a dash of irony and
a hint of nostalgia mixt
my recipe for happy me
and those of stodgy stuff
might look down upon
and might frown upon
my flibbertigibbet psyche
because they are not like me
and they may accomplish more
so mature and cultivated
with self-importance so inflated
but I'll measure my success
with who I love and what I make
not by who I can defeat
or what I can take or break

maladroit

i float outside myself
and watch in horror
spectral mouth agape
as corporeal mouth
opens wide to shove
my foot inside
and i marvel at
how maladroit
i can become
how heavy-handed
how tied my tongue
i feel the dumbest
of the dumb
i wish that i
had just kept mum

bastion

no shame
at times
to retreat
within
your bastion
to restore
protect
and fortify
your soul
to heal
your hurts
be made whole
while outside
still
the battle
rages
unless
you there
forevermore
remain
so that
safe havens
become
cages

reify

papers pinned 

upon the board

and to pushpin

tied a tangled skein 

of thought

follow it through

every knot

painstakingly unpick

the fact from fiction

to reify the pattern

and in the whole

find solace 

or satisfaction  

ineluctable

that beauty made greater
by its ephemeral nature
is truth ineluctable
and indestructible
as the first love requited
lingering long past
prediction's forecast
cast in memory
as in stone
beauty remembered
by you alone

veld

and so
I slip into slumber
my lullaby this:

the persistent purr
emanating from
the ball of soft fur
beside me

as before my heavy eyes
the balletic display
of predator and prey
pairing off
across the veld

and as I melt 
to tales
of giraffes
or elephants
or the Cape buffalo
murmured over all
the dulcet tones
of Attenborough

career (verb)

as if an inebriate teen
in a grocery store parking lot
racing a rickety shopping cart
i career toward love
with absolutely no discretion
aiming in sort of a general direction
thrilling in the speed, in the wild abandon
no thought of being caught
or crashing and smashing
on the asphalt

sensibility

his awkward pause
punctuated by
the creak of her shifting thighs
on weathered Naugahyde
and her paper straw sensibility
twists like an ulcerated stomach
as her eyes apprise
the omens at the bottom
of a "bottomless coffee cup"
she knows what's up
in the jukebox ether
she awaits the serrated blade
of her executioner
in the pause
before the end begins

abide

those we love are never gone
within our hearts they still abide
it's up to us to carry on
hoping that we've satisfied
the spectre of their memory
a shadow of their ghost
by being who we ought to be
and thus, a worthy host

cuckoo

i get into a loop
every hour
cuckoo
the words ring out again
every hour
cuckoo
my brain set on repeat
every hour
cuckoo
i think it's gone and then
every hour
cuckoo
i still remember when
every hour
cuckoo
your arms would hold me tight
every hour
cuckoo
we'd kiss beneath the stars
every hour
cuckoo
before the fateful fight
every hour
cuckoo
if the words would silence
for an hour
cuckoo
a linguistic amputee
for an hour
cuckoo
then i'm sure i could move on
for forever
cuckoo
from this pattern finally free