glean

skipping stones across the water
on a muggy summer day
still and hot
like a palmed rock
i'm weighed and measured
ere i skim across the top
flying for a moment,
brief and bewitching
attempt to glean
the depths unseen
and hope i go
farther with this throw
before i sink
into the cool ink
until some far off day
i wash up on the shore
am thrown again,
further than before
by a whimsical arm,
by rascally charm,
by all things I swore
I'd be immune to evermore

lexical

homonyms & homographs & homophones
obfuscate the space
we both inhabit
decorating it with difference
as varied and wild as birdsong
a semantic cacophony
in lexical disarray
where inference influences
and meaning amorphous
where always means
forever or for now
too easy to change intent
and write the right
rites of regret

oaf

clumsy limbed
ungainly uncontainable strained
for meaning trained
for something
but reaching reaching
wrenching smashing
oaf made of thumbs
covered in butter
and bitter
convinced that it
will get better
but never knowing it so
so onward we go
uncool unkempt
redemptive

keelhaul

do not forget
the sunset in wavy lines
the dolphins' laugh
the whale song
singing you to sleep
do not forget
the majesty of the deep
as keelhauled
you are dragged and drowned
take a moment
and appreciate the sound
of your lungs pushing out their last
enjoy the beauty of your ending
when it's too late to change the past
mutineers and rebels know this
as they wave to Davey Jones &
let go, let go, let go and
hope for bliss

quantal

we are we or we are not
us or bust
apart
you are not the you that I knew
I, the eye, sees that I am not the I
not a lie, just not true
awry
both and neither
locked in a box
theoretically dead maybe maybe
asleep
the quantal event as you are spent
disengaged disingenuous disembarking
determines the end of the experiment
we not we/you not you/I now I
alone

zwieback

black holes spin like tops
cardboard castles crumble
and fold in on themselves
in multidimensional origami
tesseract dice rolled in
a board game bigger
than we
we kittens
batting at string theory
we babies
gumming a zwieback multiverse
toasted and sweet, we eat
we compete
and with knowledge incomplete
we fight entropy's inevitable defeat
and dream

hale

fortitude found
under a couch cushion
luck
for I thought I lost it
the bits of me gone missing
just hidden
my patience -
tucked away in the wrong cabinet
my strength -
underneath the bed
my heart -
fallen down the back of the closet
pieces of me
everywhere discovered
as I clean out
the shame, humiliation, disgrace,
the rubbish that overtakes
throw them away
incinerate them
to clear the stench of failure
I reassemble disparate bits
to make me
hale and whole
to start anew
with more of me
and less of you

bumptious

i once knew a man
and i loved his quiet ways
thoughtful, sweet and gentle
becalming all my days
but then he had to leave me
for life was not as kind
goodbye, he kissed me softly
as our life he left behind

love is quite capricious
and never can you know
so you try something different
to see where it will go

another man i met
and i loved his bumptious ways
brash and bold and loud
he filled all empty space
but then he pulled a runner
and he was not as kind
broken bitterness he left
as our time he left behind

oh yes, love is quite capricious
so now i take it slow
no more racing forward
for i've seen how that can go, but...

someday soon, I know that someone
new will fill this vacant place
this heart now cold and empty
again will be ablaze
obtrusive or reclusive
neither type to be preferred
i just hope they stick around awhile
and heartbreak somewhat deferred

vignette

a novel we planned
great and grand
an epic to span
the ages
but we got lost
in the opening pages
disagreed about
the tenses
looked at the characters
through different lenses
as though Hemingway
were writing Mrs. Dalloway
it didn't mesh
and so you couldn't stay
no novel then, a vignette
we wrote brief and fleeting
hastily sketched
and worth deleting
and I regret the lost words
still writing and reading
our chapters unwritten
from an outline
scribbled on the back
of a napkin
in a cafe
that lovely day
when plot was laid
and I unmade

weird

forever in my view
shall it be
singular, spectacular
and incomprehensible
in my heart still
a weird and wild mishmash
of gritty grandeur
in my mind
a wild rumpus
brought to a crashing halt
through no fault
of mine but still
but still
the detritus of a carnival
left strewn about me
and now in lenten days
I have the time to ponder
but find myself no closer
to truth ineffable

astrolabe

I need no instruments

no high tech gadgets 

no pen and paper neither 

the stars aligned

and we both knew it 

sans chart or astrolabe

from the first silly grin

greatness began

though this may not last 

for now as the night rolls past 

we have these twinkling lights 

reflecting in each other's eyes 

to guide us through the dark 

into each other's arms

deasil

losing longings
in the lazy eights
to and fro we go
dance in deasil circles
wander back
widdershins
following a pattern
greater than we
butterflies in the storm
tempest tossed
but together
never lost

nimrod

a tilt-a-whirl
the same circles
in blurs and blasts
lost people careen
freaks and outcasts
through broken hearts
and sour laughs
the nimrods, twats and twits
who gave them fits - gone
on to the next thrill
give chase on a rollercoaster
giggling screams tear
the popcorn cotton candy air
grief and joy
both fleeting
they all fly past
nothing lasts
and in
the claustrophobic carnival
this is both
the prize and punishment

sub rosa

quietly so quietly we begin
unwilling yet to shout and proclaim
unwilling yet to give it a name
not quite sub rosa not quite above board
softly gently creeping slowly
lest we scare it away
we inch towards...something

pulchritude

reflections waver with a word
vision skewed by pulchritude
in pictures of a person
never met but you can bet
to whom you are compared
when skin is bared
as he competes against
the ones who came before
and all that you can hope
is that you both find the other
more

canoodle

forgotten feelings
blush and bloom
like teenagers canoodling
under bleachers
in fingers intertwined
kisses sweet like wine
heady and forbidden
unbidden like crashers
at a party
I never knew I held
until I beheld
that cheeky grin

tribulation

muck and mire
traversed
I wallowed and whimpered
dirtied and deadened
dragging the weight of
imagined sins
until I finally let go
each thing
I could not know
untied the past
from my pack
lesser and lighter
on the other side
of tribulation
I found me
different
as I was before
but more, oh
so much more

marmoreal

you open your mouth
before your words
even begin
the tremors creep
I cannot keep
the tempest within
I know the end
of your sentence
is the start of mine
a prison term
locked inside myself
in solitary
would that I could
freeze me marmoreal
in a frieze
from happier days
I will myself still
but still I tremble
and betray me
statuesque you stay
and say the words you say 
look upon me coolly
the accidental gorgon
who turned your heart to stone

incumbent

scrawl gibberish placards
yard signs never seen
mouth a stump speech
to a party of none
locked in last
imaginary race 'gainst
heart's incumbent
who runs uncontested
no other names on the ballot
no write ins allowed

gruntle

others may pretend
they walk about
unburdened
hands emptied
back unbowed
ignoring the trunks
tied with rope
about their legs
dragged with every step
but we,
we laugh
about our luggage
shift and lift it together
gruntle each other
and jolly along
mix and match the bags
so sharing the weight
to lighten the loads

jocund

the past casts shadows
to cover me in melancholy morass
dark and viscous as molasses
though not near as sweet

shadowboxing memory
who seems never to retreat

but in lightness of your feet
and your bright and shiny grin
you drive back shadow
and shadow gives in

you dance in the sunlight
and with a jocund twirl
spin me into your arms
where I giggle like a schoolgirl
besotted by your charms

and I remember that
while I cannot change the past
shadow and memory are
hazy and ephemeral
and neither will last

joy need not be a surprise 
for every day the sun will rise

exonerate

no higher court
no appeal
no pardon

no truth
no evidence
no witness
could exonerate me
in your eyes

I would always be
not her
and that was criminal

I cannot plea
innocence
only ignorance

accept
my punishment
of banishment

a refugee
avoiding extradition
in exile/asylum
I begin again

peccadillo

In repose we find the difference.
The curl of lips, the taste of kisses
and all the peccadillos of before
now music to a different score.
Faults that others found so grating,
lost in calm and joy elating.
Will this wave of peace recede
into distance, as in past,
or to halcyon days that last?
We do not know nor need we now.
In this moment, tranquility allow.

rescript

a throne decrees
off with their heads
down on their knees
the rescript so harsh
that now there's none left
all dead or fled
lonely monarch
the royal we
sees and
sees nothing
and never did
the fool knew
the fool
first to go

challah

snow globe dreams
shift and shake
Sunday morning pictures
brunch of challah toast
your maple syrup kisses
sweeter than summer sunlight
strolling through the dinosaurs
and pulling faces
as we run in place
pretend they chase 
then through the park
holding mittened hands
smiling in the twice reflected sun
once from the blanketed ground
once from your smile
winter picturesque

whilom

ebb away
day after day
a train
that rushed
past receding
proceeding to
who knows
sad hobos
such was I 
flung from a boxcar
rolling in gravel
and why
I could rise
follow the ties
to end up broken behind
my whilom friend
but better in the end
to set my back
leave the rails awhile
for the wilderness away
from a one track mind

reminisce

only yesterday
we looked ahead
and laughed
and in that moment
twenty years have passed
and now we sit
and reminisce
and wonder how
we got to this
how through the years
we got to here
down different paths
to end up
still together
still a family
forged and foraged
formulated but never formulaic
we look back and laugh
and ahead and laugh
and in that laugh
lies the alchemy
that binds us

 

foliage

an autumn day it was
and I thought it was the end
with the turning of the leaves
I believed that heartache
like ocher foliage
would wither and fall
with seasons turning

but the needles
needled evergreen
so I made my pain
a Christmas tree
chopped it down
dragged it home
marveled at its
impermanent beauty
drowned in its
scent and size and
hung my shining tears
upon it like baubles

now, well past its day
the needles finally fall
and I can place it on the curb
to look upon it no more
until the world turns again

abject

listlessly tracing
dusty circles
on dry earth
lonely and lost
the soul wanders
forced hermitage
rendering solitary
searching necessity
a heart in twain beats
arrhythmical, count askew
what absence made abject
company calms and balms
so my soul seeks out someone
is it you?