paragon

The pedestal
you place her on
wobbles
and she is overcome
with vertigo.
She is no paragon,
no pinnacle,
no perfection;
nor wishes
to be.
You,
in your worship
place her high above -
thinking you honor her
instead of torture her.
A woman,
scared of heights,
is no less lovely
standing on the ground
and more accessible
by far.

emeritus

let go the role
no more yours
retire quietly
emeritus forevermore
going forward
will you be
never is it easy
relinquishing relevance
but better that with dignity
than some forced obsolescence
so it seems from this side
but how could we yet grasp
the intricate complexity
of knowing your last gasp

colligate

a button 
a pen
a picture of two
a ticket stub from
a museum
visited on a rainy day
a pillowcase
an unmatched sock
for a foot
far bigger than mine
a grocery list
memories all
colligate by virtue
of having once been
part of you
part of us
treasures or trash
I cannot say
but for today
I pack them away
back in the heart of me
holding them safe
awaiting another rainy day

minatory

my eyes open to the darkness
drink it in
it holds no more terrors
they are not without
the clattering of the train passing 
shattering the false peace 
in minatory tones
and I look beside
to see the empty bed
the solitary pillow
missing its head
and I pull it to me
folding myself
into myself
and around it
cushioning my heart
and hoping for sleep

Xanadu

with coffee cups and silver spoons
he builds a cozy castle
globes and record players
old stoves and new pictures
rag rugs and flag rugs
in disparate pieces
makes a whole
makes a home
weathered and tethered
to the world
with memories made
and yet to be
this Xanadu peopled
with a family
an assemblage
seemingly random
but as carefully collected
as the furnishings
greater than
the sum
of all
their parts

dyed-in-the-wool

The zealot flies; buoyed by the updraft of his certainty,
his passionate intensity, and a possible propensity for insensitivity.

And they,
staunch supporters,
dyed-in-the-wool devotees
are lifted too.

His flight carries all...until one disagrees
(variance causing imbalance)
and must dropped so the others may soar.

And the others cheer and jeer the plummeting figure,
and the next,
and the next,
and the next;
happy that it is not they,
only aware that as his load is lightened
they soar higher,
oxygen thinner,
until the irony cannot breathe.

henotheism

and so he was
shining in the sun
the brightest
in a pantheon
of bright young things
such was his power
a young Zeus
and she
high school Semele
worshipped him
above all
as she scribbled in her notebook
and sighed behind her braces
and glasses and fears
her henotheism myopic
but unshakable
doomed to be
immolated by doubt
burnt and broken
so it ever was

foreshorten

I wish I could
this time
abridge
or skip
right to the end
instead
poor student
that I am
I reread
this paragraph
uncomprehending
over and over
again
this time
is a novel
I cannot foreshorten
written in a language
I cannot fathom
on which I will be tested
but know not when

nebula

as macro
so micro

we explode
atoms rush and race and rage outward
then cool, contract
as we react

we are formed
and reformed

human nebula
universes circling
in dance hall patterns
ancient and lovely

as we collide and converge
temperaments emerge
order is found in the chaos
on a busy train platform
on a rainy Tuesday
morning
in the city

fulsome

the hyperbole
of hope
fulsome and gaudy
exaggerated
like new lovers
or old grudges
greatened and grander
by the bottle
we pour
we guzzle
taking courage
by the doubles
rattling
like ice cubes
in a glass
as empty
as our rhetoric
as hollow
as our hearts

vicinity

you sink
a semiplume
pruned, plucked
and floating through
the atmosphere
landing gently
in her hair
discarded from
the raptors
circling above
the detritus of the vicious

the world covers her
in greens and blues
and from
her fingertips
drips
petrichor dreams
that clean away
the salt water stench of
persistent tears

still lost
but in the vicinity
of hope

that once was

ruly

my butterfly eyes
don't see so good
but sparkle in the sun
like dewdrop lips
that taste of spring
hair of twined ivy
petal soft skin
somnolent sweet honey
that trickles over
in a drowsy fountain
painting lazy rivers
down my back
my heart
a riot of manic flowers
an exploding universe of
scintillating scents
enticing me onward
to leave behind forever
the ruly, mannered lawns
of my neighbors
for a wilderness all my own

onomastics

Lover's Tale

they lived in the land of nicknames
of "darling"s and "baby"s galore
these endearments endearing delighted
back when the whole thing was requited

their given names given a backseat
to sweetnesses only for two
onomastics love had then banished
at least until love then had vanished

that's how they then knew it was over
when formal their sentences ran
vocabulary changed
when they were estranged
no more with "my dear"
but only plain "here"
when the "lovely"s were gone
they knew it was wrong

now over and done
of nicknames they've none
but epithets not fit to print
if that gives you a sort of a hint

sadly, so often it's thus
but don't worry, my darling,
my lovely, my dear,
that could never,
no, never,
I promise not ever,
that could never
happen to us

inviolable

pillows and sheets
and hid beneath
spinning tales
magical and true
were we two
whispered incantations
a fortress made
inviolable against marauders
armies commanded
tribute demanded
benevolent or bloodthirsty
as we fancied
dictating a world
with gibberish and rubbish
and imagining
o'er which to reign
together

talisman

i get lost
within the blue
flashes of fire
glimmer of magic
a promise held
talisman
treasure
tie to the past
hope for the future
my grandma's opal
my mother's opal
my opal
i reach for it
clutch it carefully
and dream
of dusty deserts
and beaches
and the smell
of eucalyptus
across the oceans deep
they reach
and wrap
envelope me
tethered ever
by the tear drop
that hangs
around my neck

purloin

with fluffy trickery
a conman
a conqueror
hearts purloined
deceived by
soft words
softer caress
hiding
claws that rend
teeth that bite
lulled into submission
until the time is ripe
slash and rip
precisely
then tidy
and move on
leaving corpses behind

equanimity

grace and equanimity

I fear that I have none

I started out so well

but since have come undone

I swore they'd be my watchwords

to get me through these days

but they have since deserted me

and in a darker phase

now I find I find myself

and still don't understand

it never should have come to this

it should have just been grand

but the darkness rises

now summer's come and gone

never did i foresee this

when you came along

bipartisan

our house divided
we could not stand
and so it is
we fell
so caught
in rhetoric
got lost
in being right
until common ground
merely small talk
as we sat across the table
over plates of dinner
cooling
our bipartisan effort
a resigned shrug
as we both reached
for the wine

sinecure

i build myself utopia
the world revolves
for me
all worries resolve
for me
a sinecure provides
but not demands
and so my art thrives
with time and plenty
on my hands
beloved by all
commended,
celebrated and adored
and as the cheering throngs
reverberate in my ears...
the phone rings
back to my
day job doldrums drawn
and with a fake and facile
"hello, how may I help you"
this life goes on

dewy

new formed
half-baked
we skated through
in pirouettes
like wobbly tops
easy and fearless
careless and clumsy
doe-eyed and dewy
ever so fresh
so beautiful
in ecstasy
in profligacy
in flagrancy
ever so unique
like every other
boundless
yet bound
to each other
we raced
ever so fast
through the world
careening towards
greatness
ever so proud
and now
ever so weary
slowed by friction
and entropy
we look behind
and laugh
that we were
ever so young
that we've come
ever so far
that we're still
ever so
even so

kangaroo court

search for justice
hard to find
when she's capricous
as well as blind
she's jury, judge
and executioner
for every quirk
of his minutiae
her kangaroo court
has deemed him lacking
and so it was
she sent him packing
then he goes on
to do the same
to the next contestant
in the dating game

umami

some are too sweet
cloying and saccharine
dripping with sugary words
but have no real substance
empty calories

some are too spicy
overwhelming and vibrant
but to the detriment of all else

some are salty
ribald and racy
but leave you parched

some are tart and tangy
some are bitter
some leave you bitter

give me an umami love
meaty and savory 
rich and round

the others are fine
for snacks
a desert
a starter

but make my meal umami
make my love umami
make my life umami
and I'll be satisfied

gadfly

I hear it
ringing in my ears
words spew forth
nitpicking recriminations
"why me's"
my own personal gadfly
the tinnitus of disappointment
and that is all I hear
until she whispers
he laughs
they play a song
we come together
a band of troubadours
singing in the darkness
drowning out the whine
in joyful bombast
and comraderie

absolve

Redemption comes but slowly 

It comes with moving on 

I wish I could have told me

Of the dark before the dawn

I wonder now what difference 

A warning would have brought 

And if I would have left before

Destruction had been wrought 

Of this I can't absolve me

All the things I cannot change

Though they never did involve me 

They haunt me just the same

Lucullan

mistress of all
the huntress queen
she reigns supreme
stretches languidly
on a Lucullan pillow
brushed and manicured
loved and tended
petted and feted
her subjects supplicate with
morsels tasty, toys, and treats
and a purr of content
or a hiss of disapproval
all the language she needs

williwaw

i let go the aching
i let go the bliss
into memory i pack them
done, for now, with this
the year is moving onward
my clock ticks up a notch
and calm becomes
a longed for friend
content, a treasured guest
the wild williwaws of my past
cyclonic whirling tempestuous tirades
have depleted me
and i look to the porch
to the morning bird
and a cup of tea
to restore myself to myself
sans the seesaw
of a mind frenzied
harried by the black dog
and the pecking crows
racing always to the cliff's edge
a heart that cannot do things by halves
but ever leaps with nary a look
and in the placid tinkle
of a teaspoon in a mug
serenity awaits

trepid

inward I retreat
ever incomplete
trepid of heart
finally fearfull
from the falls
the empty halls
that echo
reverberating
all my wrongs
back to me
in hollow song

confidant

rumpled and wrinkled
tattered and torn
with glass eyes you've seen
every tear shed
and sung me to sleep
as I clung for dear life
and never once judged
all my failings
hugged almost thin
weathered, careworn
as recompense
I've made repairs
resewn your ear
where the kitten had chewed
cleaned your countenance
smudged still
with remnants of nail polish
spilled years ago
a birthmark
I think
that I made you
my close confidant
you've kept every secret
listened to woes
repeated too frequent
your compatriots
have come and gone
but with life's blows
I return to you again
Bo the bear
ever dear
forever here
forever you'll remain

ruddy

there was a perfect moment once:

the sweetest words
I'd ever heard
your breath warm
against my cheek
and if I close my eyes
I still can feel
your forehead
against my temple
smell the mint and whisky
you whispered in my ear
my cheeks ruddy
as the blush rose
incredulous
that in a moment
I could believe
myself so beautiful
because you saw me so

microburst

all is calm and quiet
in the center of my storm
and, for the moment,
I can stand serene
until a small reminder
a tiny disturbance
breaks my peace
a picture or a song
you used to sing
and suddenly I'm flying
caught in a microburst
violent and blustery
my emotions
get the best of me
the worst of me
and raged and ravaged
by inner tempests
that no one else can see
I choke and sputter
drenched and bewildered
in a hurricane
of memory